The only rules you need to know...

The RULES of EMS:
1. Blood goes round and round, Air goes in and out, any variation thereof is a bad thing.
2. All Repiratory Distress patients are suffering from an acute plastic defieciency.
3. I come first, my partner comes second, the patient is a dead last.
4. All bleeding stops, eventually.
5. Patients dead at the scene tend to remain dead at the hospital.

*6. If its wet and it ain't yours, don't stick your fingers in it*