And FINALLY, a day off.

My first post as a blogger...quite the untimely reality of things, but I suspect a positive outlet nonetheless. Perhaps a little background on me is fitting. I am a EMT-I in Durham NC who lives with a paratrooper stationed at Fort Bragg. I am here, living in some bum-fuck-ass town named Sanford and he is defending our country in Iraq. We have the quintessential life, 2 cats and a very large dog, who thinks he a Chihuahua, a house and reasonable rent. But we have very skilled and at times, very dangerous jobs. We both wear Kevlar, drink beer and discuss how fucked up people are to each other on a daily basis.

This experiment is self-awareness is intended to allow me an outlet when Leroy decides its a good idea to get completely 56 (plastered) and beat the shit of his wife in front of little Dick and Jane on Christmas eve and to let me vent when I am melancholy about having the love of my life thousands of miles away.

I did just find out via a telephone call that his expected return date is February 5th. He was supposed to be home mid-January, but I know from the little experience I have with the Army, that they are on their own time-table. I am proud of my soldier, sometimes I wonder if I tell him that enough. I know his job is not finished and when it is, he will come home. I know that this deployment is not about me or what I want personally, but as explained in a recent letter to him: It is about the rebuilding of a weaker nation with the help of a stronger one. The instillation of the freedom this country has fought long and hard to protect over the last 200 years on a nation who so desperately needs it. Iraq is the little kid who gets bullied in the playground by the terrorists who are the bully. And only America and her allies are attempting to make this fight a fair one.

This entry may be melancholy but to explain, I have to go back to 9/11. I became a public servant and by serving, I mean helping, not being the uniformed whore of yuppie-America. I am NOT here to bitch-at, assault, shoot-at or spit upon. (Here's to hoping that the gang-bangers have internet access...) I am not here to fuck up your day or judge your sexual escapades. I am here to treat medical problems and face trauma with gusto, a sick sense of humor and pride. If you dont like the way I do my job then stop calling 911 and shut the fuck up. I am NOT a taxi-ride because you can't afford a can of RAID and have a cockroach in your ear at 0200. BUY A CAR, TAKE A TAXI, PHONE A FRIEND, or WALK....there aint shit I can do about that but tell you to go see your friendly physician.

To get back to the point, I felt a calling after 9/11 that can only be described as one of patriotic pride. I was going to go to medical school but decided to try EMS instead. I just took my Paramedic final and have been hired on in a city that is much closer to where we want to live. I have been working in a city for 3 years that is racially political and motivated. I have been the recipient of discrimination and the county that I work for chose to side with the person who was, how shall I say, "more ethnically diverse" than myself. I have put in my notice there, it is a losing battle to try and do my job in a place that binds my hands on every single call. I love this country and am proud to call myself an American. I dont like liberals and even had a policy when I was single NOT to date Democrats. Liberalism will be the fall of this country, just look at all of this "holiday tree" bullshit circulating in the media. I am a Jew and I take offense to calling a Christmas tree anything other than what it is.

I am an EMS instructor and I consider myself skilled. Thats one thing about us medics, we have an arrogance that just isnt found in other professions. Don't like it? Drive yourself to the ER. I have been working for almost 3 months straight and now as I put my notice in in my racist-city, and decide not to work any OT, I find myself with 3 days off, in a row. Yippee! What a nice feeling it is to lay around and do absolutely nothing, without fear of the tones dropping and having to go out on a call.

Phil ( thats my soldier), is an airborne infantryman for the 82nd. He enlisted for similar reasons as my own when I ventured into public service. He has been in for 2 years and has 4 left to go. He left for Iraq on October 3rd and will be returning in early February. This is a short deployment and I am glad for it because I am NO holster-sniffer and have never loved a soldier before, so this is new to both of us. I am a hard-ass at work, my nickname is potty-mouth, but I am a collossal baby when it comes to him. Its weird, I have always been sensitive to my patients needs when they are in a time of crisis, thats what makes me a good medic, but when it comes to life and love, I had a blase' attitude. He changed all of that and I love him more than I thought people could love each other. He is doing well and I will be using this outlet as a way to express what I can only describe as mourning. My life is incomplete without him.

I have been writing him everyday and sending packages once every couple of weeks. I send video-letters and sneak him the Playboy (after I read it first). I make damn sure that he wants for nothing since he cant be at home. He is guarding prisoners in western Iraq and, much to his chagrin, is not involved in much combat. But he is policing the Hajji and is training Kurdish police forces. I am pissed off about the way we as Americans must behave toward prisoners. These people get anything they want, its disgusting. They havent treated us with the same courtesy...

My firm opinion is to first remove all good Iraqi citizens from Iraq, gather up all gang-bangers and all-around low-life pieces of shit, pinko-commie liberal fascists and all members of any terrorist regime and place them in Iraq. Drop the fat-boy. Then rebuild and let the good Iraqis come home. I am tired of companies like Newsweek and stations like CNN bad-mouthing our military when they haven't done shit for this country but sit on their fat-corporate asses and brainstorm over jelly-donuts and coffee in some mahogany, 27th floor boardroom. Here's a thought, if you cant stand behind our troops then get your anti-American asses in front of them and let Jihad wage the war. These are the same people that attack every police arrest with the same gusto as the Rodney King incident and have bound our officers hands in red tape. And the same people that call me "EMS-workers" on the late night news. You dont call Firemen, Fire-workers, or cops, law-workers. WE ARE NOT EMS WORKERS! We are paramedics, for fucks sake, get it right you stupid journalists!

Until tomorrow... I have an appointment with the new EMS agency I will be working with come January. I have to have a health screening and do all of the tax forms so Uncle Sam fuck me out of my measley salary. To all a good night.